Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
