Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hippo gnu deer
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
