You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize