It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
