so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
