gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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