What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
