There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
handjob tips. give me some.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
