Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Congratulations! We have a period
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