you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
you never un-have a 4some
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
