Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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