I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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