Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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