i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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