I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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