Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dear god my vagina.
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