I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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