I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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