I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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