You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
