im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
