So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
