Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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