So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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