my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
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