I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
this boner is exhausting
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
