Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
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I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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