Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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