I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
