This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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