we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
