he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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