spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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