My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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