He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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