I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
please come you make the beer taste better
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
