The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
