Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
