no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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