new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
