I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
