she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
