so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
