soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
