I have demons in me.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
