hotel room ftw
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
