My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
