First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
