And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
