He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
