I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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