Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
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why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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