May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
