A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
