And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
