so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
