I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Randomize
