i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize