I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
