May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
