I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
