I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The best revenge is premature balding
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize