just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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