Soap is not a condiment
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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