2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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